The ONN’s Today Now! welcomes self-help guru Craig Wheedon, whose bestselling book, Wake Up! He’s a Shapeshifter, helpfully explains to lovelorn women that they are in no way to blame for their endless string of bad relationships: They are merely dating the same shapeshifting reptile over and over again.
[theonion.]
At [a restaurant] and I feel dressed up cuz my sweatpants match my hoodie.texts from my phone’s inbox
When your most serious relationship is with TV, this time of the year tends to be really, really difficult
![A little late but as promised I uploaded some more pics on the TIWY[S]S Facebook page to confirm and cement my eternal singledom. It’s like Snapchat on Facebook except you can stare at these babies for as long as you like…and if you do this and are a dude CALL ME.
Click [here] to see me in my forever-alone glory (read: unsightliness).](http://24.media.tumblr.com/1c699ee981ec56f759fb1b805a2012e2/tumblr_mmk4huKo0t1qa2y5qo1_500.jpg)
A little late but as promised I uploaded some more pics on the TIWY[S]S Facebook page to confirm and cement my eternal singledom. It’s like Snapchat on Facebook except you can stare at these babies for as long as you like…and if you do this and are a dude CALL ME.
Click [here] to see me in my forever-alone glory (read: unsightliness).
Here’s a really cute video of me and every member of the opposite sex I’ve ever met
This one time we wanted to get these guys to get us bottle service so I told them I was a plus-size model for JC Penney
