(507): and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My first crush was on a Batman cake, but my first sexual feelings were about teenage Simba.
New Girl

"So that guy doesn’t seem to want to hang out again and my friend thinks it’s because I photoshopped his face onto an angel’s body and sent it to him"

-texts from my phone’s inbox

I once saw Clay Aiken sleep for six hours straight on a flight from New York to LA.
texts from my phone’s inbox
The reasons are quite obvious... now it's time to accept them. I have.

this is why you're [still] single.


view archive

Ask anything [here]

Wanna share why you or someone else is [still] single? Submit stuff [here]